Thursday, June 10, 2010

102 - Never Say Never

I had a very good friend of mine run into some lady troubles. Very basically, he has been friends with her for a long time, he now wants to be more than friends and it's a mystery what will happen. At one point he said to me, "If this doesn't work I don't think I can be just friends with her..." or something to that effect.

He's not the only person I know to have ever said that.

I'm going to say this now; that is total bullshit.

Anyone with a strong enough will can change their perception and relationship with anyone else. I've done it before. Twice. Twice I've had friends that I've liked as more than friends, but for one reason or another it could never be. I forced my brain to think of them differently. It can be done. It is extremely difficult, especially if the person means a lot to you, but it can definitely be done. I'm not promising any relapses, but I can tell you that they get easier to deal with as time moves on.

Uhm... An example! Uhm... Ok, for this we will be a girl, and the other person will be a guy that was a friend that we now have swoony mushy feelings for. Remember, this works both ways if you swap the situation around.

So you like the guy. He likes you as a friend, or for other reasons (be it family, religion, distance, friends, other partners) you just can't be with him as more than a friend. You don't want to lose him entirely. So start treating him as a friend. Call him your friend, do friend type activities, go out with other friends and maybe limit hanging out where it's just the two of you, even distance yourself from him a bit and just remind yourself that he is a friend. Don't even tolerate thinking about even something as tiny as holding his hand or cuddling him. Imagine/see him with other girls and remind yourself that it's fine, force yourself to accept it and be happy for him and stay out of his love life.

Eventually you will see him (or her) as a friend and you will forget you even thought otherwise.

It can be done. You just have to want it enough.

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