070 - Teeth

No, not the movie. Don't see that. Or, do, if you want an awkward laugh.

I'm talking about the dental kind, and in particular those people who don't brush their teeth. That annoys me. I mean, how hard is it to brush your teeth for two minutes twice a day?

I don't care if your teeth fall out from rot (which they will eventually) but what does bug me is when people who clearly haven't brushed their teeth talk to me. Or come within two .... three feet of me and mouth-breath. The smell of bad breath is the worst smell in the world. It actually makes me cringe and sometimes makes me feel sick.

Don't think people can't tell, because they can. Or, I can at least. Remember, I have a super sense of smell. Unfortunately. I'm like a frickin werewolf. Oh, and chewing gum doesn't work. It lasts a few minute before the stink of a day or two of food, drink and anything else you've been injesting comes creeping back out of your gob like a vile, acidic monster. Ugh, and don't get me started on Juicy Fruit gum. That stuff smells worse than the breath it's meant to cover up.

Hell, do what I do and brush your teeth before leaving the house, especially in you plan on being all up in someone's personal space. That very much includes sitting next to someone on a bus or trying to sell someone something.

Maybe I like the smell of toothpaste too much, too. Mint is easily in my top 5 smells. Bad breath, top 3 worst ones, next to vomit and poop. It's like bad breath is vomit in gas form.

Eeeeuuuuuuuggggghhhhh

BRUSH YOUR FRICK TEETH, PEOPLE! We're not in the middle ages any more. You have no excuse.