Oh yes... I have been thinking. Run for the hills.
The idea of caring less is a good one, but maybe not in the F*ck It extreme.
As in 010, I am a little bit... what's the word I'm looking for? Hmm... As I said to my friend, I can either be the nicest person in the world or your worst nightmare. It doesn't take much for me to go from confused or questioning to totally irate, irrational and stubborn. And then I get a headache.
I don't need to say f*ck it, really. I just need to figure out how to react less to things. (Am I repeating myself now? I swear what I'm trying to explain is a different idea).
I'll try it with examples.
Firstly, this is an echo of a conversation I've had recently, summarised but accurate.
Him: I'm headed to the pub.
Me: Why? [mildly annoyed]
Him: The lads are going. I'm going to see my friends.
Me: What pub? Why are you going to the pub?
Who is going? [increasingly annoyed]
Him: [frustrated] Because I want to, ok?
[insert hours of stomping and teeth grinding and snapping and a headache while he went to the pub anyway]
Secondly, this is how I could have handled it, like a normal, well-adjusted person.
Him: I'm headed to the pub.
Me: With who? [interested]
Him: Friends from college, a few of the lads...
Me: Ok, have fun! Be safe!
Him: Thanks, hun. Have a good night!
[later, everyone is still in a good mood, no headache, with good chance of lovin's and friendly banter about the friends from college and the lads.]
...which could ultimately lead to something more along the lines of...
Him: I'm headed to the pub.
Me: Alright, have fun!
Him: Do you want to come?
[good, happy times all round]
See, even writing the happier scenario makes me feel happier right now! I just hope I don't have to talk to myself every time to figure out when I'm about to be a total cow.
I have a lot of uh.... quirks... that I need to work on, but my reactions in the extreme are probably at the core of most of them. So if I manage those, I think I'm doing well.
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